The Love For 30 Project contributor this week is Becky, who writes at If You Give a Girl a Cookie. Becky writes about her 30s and the lessons she has learned from her 20s until now. Becky shares the lessons she has learned and advice that any gal in her 30s would truly appreciate.
If you are interested in Joining the Love or 30 Project, please email me and I will give you all of the details to guest post. mythirtyspot[at]gmail.com
We've all thought it.. 30 is OLD. Single and 30 is DEATH. I don't want to get OLD and I don't want to be ALONE and OLD . When we're in our teens we just want to get to that magical 21, and after that our 20's are all about getting “better”. We aim for perfect. We want to find the perfect man, have the perfect body, raise the perfect 2.5 children in the perfect house, with the perfect job with the perfect education. While we're in our 20's we think “ It's okay, I'm only 20-something, I have time to figure things out.” But once we hit 30, it's “BAM- I should be perfect by now.”
It's true, being single in your 30's does have a certain sadness. We don't always have the options we did in our teen and twenties. That nerd you always thought you had in your back pocket as a fallback guy? He's made a ton of money in the IT industry and is married to someone else by now. Guess what, you’re even too old to be on American Idol! (It’s OK.. there's always “The Voice”) But, it's okay to feel a little sad, but hey, you also have to celebrate the decisions you made to get where you are.I thought that by my age, I’d be married with kids. I’m not, I've got the kids but I've also got a divorce under my belt and all the baggage that come with that, and so on my last birthday I wondered, Have I failed at life? But then I look at the stuff I’ve accomplished: I have three wonderful children, I know what makes my heart sing and I now have the courage to seek it out. I don't care if my favorite band isn't "cool" , I'm old enough to like what I want and I don't care if no one else agrees. I can go to bed at 9:30 if I want and not worry that I'm missing out on something. I don’t feel the need to hide behind what society thinks I should be , I know who I am and I know that I live to love, laugh, and be with the ones who help me to do so I feel much happier and confident in my thirties than I did in my twenties, and I can only imagine that it can just get better.
So here's some tips to help you cope with that occasional being “30” sadness--
- Julia Child didn't start cooking like “Julia Child” until she was 36-- before that she was a copywriter. Martha Stewart didn't actually become the “Martha Stewart” brand until she was 41- In her 30′s she and her husband bought and began restoration on an 1805 farmhouse. That’s where the love of restoring and decorating became apparent. So, if you're still unsure what you are going to be when you “grow-up” rest assured, you have time. Lots of it.
- Don't make those super lofty goals like “I’m going to meet the perfect man and get married this year and we'll be in love forever and ever and have everything we've ever wanted!”—those can make anyone feel like a failure if they take a bit of time to accomplish. My goal for 33: I’m going to reduce the amount of time I take to run/walk a mile. Because it's slow. And I can do something about that.
- Talk to your mom. Your older aunt, your Grandmother. Or any older lady. She'll remind you how young you actually are and how much time you still have ahead of you. She might also tell you to shut up (I know my Grand-mom did); if so, listen.
- Go home and look at those awkward teenage pictures. You were cute, and dorky and felt uncomfortable in your own skin. Now think of how much you've changed and grown since then and how much you’ll change and grow in the next thirty years of your life. So take a minute, and celebrate your age. You're 30 (something). Be Proud!
Becky is a 30 (something) single mom of three. She blogs over at If You Give A Girl A Cookie. You can follow her on Twitter at @_beckera_ or on Pinterest (if you don't mind being inundated with Nathan Fillion or Doctor Who pins)