Do you have a bucket list? Or a list of things you wanted to have done before you were 30 or even 40? I think we all have goals and things we want to do before a certain time, but also with time and wisdom, some of your goals or the way you look at life may have changed.
Frankie is this week’s Love For 30 Contributor and she had a long list for a long time, and was terrified of her 30s, but once she embraced this decade, she enjoyed completing her goals more than she thought she could.
The months leading up to my thirties I literally cried every day. For me it symbolized the loss of the carefree attitude of my twenties. Was I going to become one of the numerous nine-to-fivers that looked as though they wanted to shoot themselves because they lack luster for life anymore. Was I going to find myself in a zombie like marriage state with two kids and a huge mortgage I couldn’t afford? Those kinds of thoughts give me panic attacks.
When I was twenty I thought I knew myself and want I wanted – I had a college degree, friends and family that I could trust in, a fulltime job in a rough economy, had a great boyfriend. I could party on weekends and weekdays and still get to work in the morning. I lived as though I had all the money and time in the world. The norms of the American dream – yet these were not nearly enough to fulfill my needs.
I began to analyze my bucket list and lamented over the things not checked off, and couldn’t comprehend how I had let so much time pass by without finishing such important matters. I hadn’t finished, let alone started graduate school. I hadn’t traveled to far away islands or countries. I hadn’t found a true passion in my life. I had let some relationships get strained simply through laziness to communicate. My thirties started to tantalize me with what could be. As long as my desire was strong enough to strive for what I wanted and needed in my life nothing was out of reach – I just needed stimulation to grab it!
So I decided the year of my thirtieth birthday to complete at least two of the goals on my bucket list – get my first tattoo and skydive. I thought the rest would be smooth sailing. However life in itself is not smooth – I have hit a tumultuous wave of reality those first few years. The great boyfriend I had, cheated on me with his lesbian friend and literally broke my trust in men and women. I then quickly jumped into a marriage which took it’s toll as we each yearn for different things in life, and now I will be a divorcee. My job couldn’t afford me with the mounting bills I had nor afford me the chance to travel. I realize death is knocking on the doorstep of family members and my beloved 16 yr old border collie.
However with my thirties comes wisdom of maturity and life experience that I did not have in my twenties. I am able to meditate and take time to think things through. Nothing has to be decided at that exact moment. None of my daily dealings are a life or death situation – they often require thought. And I welcome the chance to gather information and weigh my options.
I relish the time I have with friends and family knowing time is short. I simply give what free time I can to them. Whether it be running errands or conversing with my grandma, or cuddling with my Oreo before bedtime to tell her how much I love her; small things make big memories in their life and in mine. I have strengthened long time friendships through the help of Facebook and by making the time to call and reconnect. My soon to be ex-husband and I maintain a great friendship which I am thankful for. I am taking time for myself with no dating or relationships, and plan on not sharing my time with any other man until I am comfortable on my life path. I prefer long afternoon playtimes with my two dogs and the occasional night out with good friends. I like my independence, a big bed to sleep on alone (except for my furkids), and not fighting over trivial things like who should wash the dishes. Though I still don’t have my dream career I am grateful for a job that pays well with benefits. And I always know there are other options out there when I am ready to seek them out.
I traveled to Hawaii a few years ago and Ireland this past September, and I completed my Master’s this past December, thus marking the top three things off my bucket list! Go ME! I found my true passion in life- rescuing animals. Whether it is through adopting, educating, donating, or transporting – I am a willing participant in all faucets that I can be. And I have started writing and even getting published which was always a dream of mine. All this in only five years!
So my advice to those facing the fear of their thirties, or those unhappy they are already here. There is no time to look back – look forward. You and only you can make this life you want and the best time to start is right now. Whether you make a small hop or leap fearlessly, this is your moment. Use the lessons from your past and mold your life into what you not only want, but also what you need.
Frankie Michelle is a woman who knows what she loves. Among those are pets, food, travel, and knowledge. Working day time for a pharmaceutical company, she gets to indulge in her passions in her spare time. She is new to blogging and aspires to write about her adventures with dogs, food, and travel.