Saying goodbye to anything and anyone is not an easy thing to do. When someone we love dies, time feels like it stops. It feels strange to think the world continues on when your own personal world has just frozen in place. You don’t know how to exist in a world where that person doesn’t, so having to make wild decisions like saying goodbye? Unfathomable.
In the middle of all of that grief, a farewell doesn’t feel realistic or real at all. However, you can make sure that it’s memorable and memorable doesn’t always mean elaborate. How you choose to say goodbye to someone you love is your personal business, and it’s not going to make sense to everyone. That’s okay, though. They may not see the joy in the accessories made by suppliers like Hilton Funeral Supply, but you know that those accessories would be keepsakes for later. You know that planning a funeral is made of many decisions but the main choice you make is how you can make this goodbye something everyone remembers.
- 1. Focus on the person. Who are you saying goodbye to and who was that person for you? There is no rule out there at all that says that a service has to follow a strict formula or timetable. In fact, some of the most memorable goodbyes are the simplest because they reflect the personality of the deceased and not some elaborate, showy funeral that they would have sneered at in life. Consider how they lived and not what a service ‘should’ be.
2. Put the stories first. People remember the stories more than they remember the schedule. Schedules are nice, but you can’t schedule grief. Pack the time you spend saying goodbye with fun anecdotes and loving stories that show who they were when they were still here. Encouraging a few people to speak from the heart often leaves a much stronger impression than a long list of readings ever could.
3. Use familiar details. Small and familiar touches can be powerful and from their favourite songs to having everyone dress in their favourite colour, you are weaving love into the space. These are the details that quietly remind everyone that this person was real with habits, preferences and presence and you can draw that out in all of their loved ones.
4. Allow space for emotion. Not everyone feels grief the same way. Memorable goodbyes don’t rush that process and grief is going to offer silence, tears, reflection, laughter – it doesn’t all have to be full of words. When people are allowed to experience their emotions in a way that makes sense for them, it helps the grieving process to move.
5. Keep it authentic. Goodbyes aren’t perfect or linear. No one wants to be told how to say goodbye, either, so make sure that everyone attending a wake or service knows that authenticity matters more than anything else.
A farewell is hard, but it’s love enduring. Feel it and keep that open until the glitter settles.
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