Are We Being Honest About The 30-Something Experience?

I woke up one morning and realized I was jobless, newly married, living in a state that I was not too familiar with and I was 31-years old. This is the time that I should have everything figure out right? When really, I had no idea what was going to happen within the next year or even the next week. I worked throughout my 20s to make sure that I would be far in my career and have started a family and have everything figured out to breeze through my 30s. But none of that had happened. How was I going to start all over with a new job or career, have a baby and also navigate through the beginnings of marriage? All of this should have been decided and done in my 20s right?

Wrong.

People have asked me many times why I chose my particular genre or niche for my blog. With hundreds of blogs joining the blogosphere every day, why did I decide to write about the thirty life? I didn’t know where I was going and what I was doing and I was an “adult.” But I didn’t feel like it too much. Sure, I paid my bills and sent out resumes, and cooked dinner for my husband, but I didn’t feel like a grown-up. I still felt young and wanting to go out and have fun and leave at a moment’s notice to go on a trip to Vegas and act irresponsible.

But how can that be? I am in my 30s, and I need to act like an adult and have everything figured out and not really discuss what is really going on or how I feel like I’m still in my 20s, I just have a ton more bills and crap to do. So the 30s kind of get passed over and on to your 40s when you’ve decided that you are your own woman again and hear me roar.

I think that sometimes the 30s can be forgotten with the dread of leaving your 20s and the busyness and stress of what being in your 30s brings. From building your career to growing your family, having an adult relationship, mortgages, car payments, taxes! It can be exhausting. Maybe that is why people don’t talk about it and just try to get through it with gritted teeth until they can breathe again once they get the hang of it in their 40s.

This is one of the main reasons that I started the Love For 30 Project. I wanted to read and share what other women were dealing with, experiencing and be real about it.

A fabulous reader sent me this article from the Huffington post that sums up exactly how I felt when and why I started this blog. Here are some of the excerpts of what women are thinking/saying about the 30s:

Then there’s 39-year-old mom-of-two Ali, who feels the 30s is about a quest for balance (i.e. not going bonkers):

The first word that comes to mind for me is torn. Every 30-something year-old woman I know (mostly married with kids) have had to live under the annoying ‘having it all’ shingle and are made to feel inadequate, whether working at home, part-time, not at all, or being the primary breadwinner. There is so much information, so many opinions out there floating on the Internet; it’s hard to find even a little peace within.

But, Rebecca, 36, has an altogether different perspective, asserting that the 30-somethings are too busy directing our cultural trends and don’t feel the need to be the stars of the show:

I do wonder if the 30-something female is deliberately standing behind the camera. This is the age bracket that some of us make life-changing decisions (i.e. children), and though I am loath to leave women barefoot, pregnant and at the stove, I do think that we take a step back to keep things in perspective. There’s also the fact that most of us did not spend our early teens posting every sloppy detail of our lives to the world (i.e. Facebook, Twitter). It’s no wonder we’re cool with chilling behind the lights and calling the shots.

Merissa, 36, sees this decade as a rediscovery of yourself — but in a blowtorch-to-your-ass kinda way:

One phrase to sum up my 30s so far? In the hot seat. You take an audit of your career, your home, your bank account. You start to take a hard look at the person in bed beside you. You start to take a hard look at your face, the little lines that won’t go away… In your 30s, you find your ‘fight’: What are you willing to fight for and why? Maybe you speak up more. Maybe you make some changes. Maybe things start to happen that change you: children, mortgages, divorce, a parent’s illness. It’s the decade of reckoning, bookended by the ‘explore it all’ 20s and the ‘fuck it all, what’s done is done’ 40s. It’s the hot seat. The time of awakening.

What is your perspective?

Be sure to read the entire Hufffington Post article titled: The 30-Something Female Experience: What Is It Really? By: Eudie Pak

I just featured a few of the perspectives and you will want to read what Eudie says about her 30s.

Comments

Nichole says

March 1, 2013 at 2:29 am

I read the Huff Post article and it was fantastic.
It’s funny… I never really gave much thought to being in my 30’s prior to your Love for 30 Project. I just kind of “assumed” my place and that was it.
Now I realize that my 30’s are for ironing out or just owning my flaws, coming to terms with who I am and learning to be OK with it all. I am positive my journey has many more twists and turns but I am OK with that because I at least have a sense of self.

My Thirty Spot says

March 1, 2013 at 5:06 am

Thanks Nichole, I love hearing that. I think stepping back and evaluating where you are can help you make the next step forward to not falling into becoming complacent. Especially with all that comes with 30s. We are so young still and so much we can do still!

Thanks for commenting and contributing to Love for 30 project!
xoxo

Lindsay says

March 1, 2013 at 6:59 pm

I’m new to the 30 club, but I am trying my best to embrace this stage of my life. I really enjoyed this post. You have a great perspective on being 30. Thanks for sharing with the rest of us!

By the way, your comment on my blog absolutely, 100% made my day. You are SO sweet & now I get to read a fun new blog, thanks to the thoughtful comment.

Sarah Li Cain says

March 1, 2013 at 8:46 pm

LOVE this! I feel like this is written for me because I am in the exact position. I think my 30s will be taking the values I discovered while I was in my 20s and putting them to good use. I have a goal to be an entrepreneur and I know that I can align my values with that.

Anonymous says

March 5, 2013 at 3:32 am

I will be turning 35 this week. I am starting to speak out more than ever before. I made a vow to myself to put me first and all else will fall into play.Sometimes we learn this the hard way, but if it is learned I believe, it is the key to true happiness.

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