With texting being the new way to “court” someone, it can be hard to adjust. Especially for us Thirty girls. We can still remember what dating was before cell phones, and actually having to get a real phone call to get asked out on a date, or just to talk through all hours of the night. I think texting has stolen those special moments of being on the phone all night trying to get to know each other, laughing and going to work on 2 hours sleep. Is it laziness that causes men to only text nowadays? Or are they hiding behind the big green curtain, and not have to deal with the dreaded fear of rejection.
With social media use being at it’s highest ever, there is no reason you can’t get a hold of someone at a moments notice, from Facebook to Twitter, e-mail and of course the phone. Especially with all of the Smartphones and Iphones and all of the creative Apps.
So what about us? When to call him, or text him? It can be so stressful. The feeling of a pit in your stomach. There seems to be so many different tips and advice on the subject. We wanted to just touch on some of the issues that you may have do deal with, or question your own judgement if you really like the guy. We did a lot of research on this, and this is what seems to be the way to handle dating in the new age of technology.
Do NOT call him if he didn’t give you his number. This might seem like a no-brainer, but sometimes your mind can play trick on you when you really want to see this guy again. There are ways to get his number, Facebook, LinkedIn or calling his work, but then you run the risk of the guy thinking that you are a stalker. And even if he doesn’t, you have lost all the power. He will know that you want him, and then he may lose interest. Those first few dates of wonder can be such a fun time, and he loves a chase.
DO call him if he gave you his number, card or flirtatiously put his number in your phone without you knowing, or any other way he gave you his digits. When my husband and I first started hanging out, I was going out of town and he told me to call him when I got back, but we had never called each other yet. I was very hesitant in making the first move, so I text him to see if he would work for me, and say “hi.” He wasn’t that impressed, but I didn’t know how to handle it. But he really did want me to call him. It can be mixed messaged about calling him first or making the first move, but if he told you to call, he really wants you to call. This is not a time to be coy. Call him, or text like they all do. The ball is in your court.
After the First Date
Wait your turn. If you just made the plans, or initiated the last call, then you should let him pull some weight and make the call. Besides at this point, it tells you how he feels. If you make the plans again, you will never know if he is into seeing you. If he doesn’t call, then you know it is time to let it go.
I think all great advice for us over thirty’s…. I’ve recently written about this and I do believe that text has it’s time and place and can be a handy little flirtatious tool. I find too much lately that too many text only relationships are occurring, and the result is much textual frustration.
If I gave a guy my number, I would be disappointed if he sent a text first. I would take it as a sign that he’s a little wimp! So I could imagine guys would feel the same way if they gave you their number.
This is good advice, because as simple as it seems, it’s not so simple! Many of my girlfriends agonize over if they should call, should they wait, etc etc.
These are great tips. I say, don’t give more to him than he’s giving to you. Women often give too much time, effort and …., way too soon. If a person is interested, they will show they are interested.