If you are in your thirties and single, or at any age for that matter, it can seem like loneliness can consume you, if you let it. You are always on the look out for your mate, and sometimes might think that you won’t find them, and you will be alone forever.
I came across an article on TheHuffingtonpost.com with Dan Savage. He is the dating advice columnist, and gay rights advocate. Dan geniusly started the “It Gets Better” campaign that has already helped millions of kids, and for that matter-adults. You can check out his article on his campaign and it’s current success.
And Savage offers this piece of advice:
“I think the best thing for you to do is just live your life. Live a life that’s worth living, one where you do what you want to do, pursue your passions. That way, if you meet someone, they’ll be joining a life that’s already really good. And if you don’t meet anyone, you can still look back at the end and say, ‘You know what: I lived a really great life.’”
“Keep going on dates. And don’t get bitter, either about women or the dating process. … Life doesn’t owe you anything, and I think it’s up to all of us to go out and create a fulfilling life for ourselves. Like, my husband Terry, he left the house an hour ago. We have a life together. But if he never comes back, I still need to have something here, a life of my own, one that’s fulfilling in itself.“
I think this advice is perfect for anyone that is single, married, in a relationship or dating. I find this advice is perfect for girls our age. Right now, in our 30s, we are in transition. Either being with someone since your 20s, or just starting something new in your 30s.
I am so happy that I did not meet my husband until I was 28 years old. It was difficult at times because I came from an area where all of my girlfriends were married at age 22 or 23. It basically left me in the single dating pool by myself. I took that time to learn about who I was, become independent, and move to another state by myself. I married my husband at age 31, and I would not change a thing.
My girlfriends and I could not be more happy that the dramatic days of our 20s are over. We loved the drama. We have learned through time, experience and aging, that life is too short. There are so many other things to worry about, than having a breakdown over a boyfriends past, or not saying “I love you,” the “right” way.
I am so thankful for this age. Still looking like we are in our 20s (and learning ways to stay that way,) but having the knowledge now, that we didn’t in our twenties. But we had to go through it, to learn from it, and learn about myself, to truly let my husband and I be at our best.
Dan’s advice is good for anyone in a relationship, and I thank him, because a little reminder never hurts.
Do you feel different dating, or in a relationship now, than when you were in your 20s?