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“These girls in their 20s, they think they’re it. Don’t they realize that we’re still it?” – Sex and the City episode 2.07 Twenty-something girls vs. thirty-something women
I never thought I’d find myself like this. I’m a 30-year-old woman with an apartment and a job, and I’m spending my evening Facebook-stalking a 21-year-old. Why? Well, she’s just started dating one of my boyfriend’s best friends.
21. I remember being 21. When I was 21, I was head-over-heels for a 37-year-old guy. I loved hanging out with him, not just because of his crazy good looks, but because he was a proper adult. His friends were also adults and I felt instantly more sophisticated hanging out with them. I also adored being the youngest one, and how people would say, “You make me feel so old!” when they found out that I wasn’t even born when the first Star Wars movie came out.
So, yeah. When you’re 21, dating an older guy and hanging out with his older friends, it’s awesome. But when you’re friends with the 33-year-old and you’re thrown into social situations with a 21-year-old… it’s awkward. Hella awkward. This girl (I have trouble thinking of her as a woman) is totally sweet and nice. But hanging out with her makes me feel… old.
Back around the time, when I was in my 20s, I fell in love with the ladies of Sex and the City. At the time, I didn’t relate to these women at all – I was a slacker undergrad, working part-time and living in my parents’ house. They were these glamorous adult women, with luxurious apartments and ridiculous wardrobes. I mean, I did my best, fashion-wise, but I had as much in common with Carrie and Miranda as I did with Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
However, there was one episode – Twenty-something girls vs. thirty-something women – that taught me something incredible: the fabulous ladies of Sex and the City were jealous of me. Throughout the episode, the 30something SATC ladies repeatedly express their jealousy of the 20somethings who surround them. Without even trying, I had something that they could never have – youth!
And… flash forward about 10 years. And I’m obsessing over albums of an (admittedly adorable and sweet) 21-year-old. One of her albums is titled “Prom, 2007.” YOU GUYS! Girls barely out of high school are dating guys MY AGE.
Part of my reaction is defensive, on behalf of 30something singletons everywhere. I mean, I always knew that guys started dating down after a certain point. I just thought that point would be around age… 40? 45? Also, it makes no sense. How could anyone choose a recent college grad living with a roommate, rather than a hilarious, gorgeous, well-travelled single lady like any one of my fabulous single friends? Who would choose a blank canvas over a gorgeous piece of art?
I know that I prefer myself at age 30 over myself at age 21. In the last nine years, I’ve come to understand a lot of things better – who I am, what I like, how to dress, who to date. I know that I’m a much better catch now that I would have been at 21. It’s like Carrie said in that episode of SATC – I’m pretty sure that 30-year-old me is still “it.”
And I know that when I’m 40, I’ll probably be looking back enviously at the 30somethings, but at the same time, I’m pretty sure that I keep getting more and more confident and more and more sure of who I am.
So bring it on, 20something girls! You may have smoother faces and less cellulite, but us 30somethings are still “it.”
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I Do Declare says
I can tell already I’m going to love these 30-something guest posts!
That SATC episode is a favorite of mine, too. Now that I watch SATC reruns (at 34) I get the show in an entirely differet way. I do think in your 30s you realize you WILL be better when you’re in your 40s, your 50s – I’m not sure in my 20s I got that…but at least when as we lose our youth we gain more hope – hee!
As somebody in my late 20s, I can already feel that sort of vibe. A recent acquaintance announced the other day that he was “shocked” he finally met 2 interesting and attractive girls 25+ in a one week period and I almost decked him.
That being said, I totally dated a 29 year old as a 21 year old and was totally “that girl” for his group of friends. The men were immature so it was fine but the women were REAL women, which I kind of see now with my group of friends, oh the adolescent 30-something male…maybe THAT should be the topic.
Heather McWhorter says
I love my 30’s – I wouldn’t go back to the 20’s if I could! Great post! :)
Lynne Childress says
PREACH!! Confidence is sexy, and sometimes age gives you that.