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When I was growing up, I was glued to Good Morning America. Joan Lunden was the co-host with Charlie Gibson, and her simple elegance and poise drew me in. At 13 years old, I knew I would work in television...and someday wanted to be on GMA...just like Joan.
That was my goal, and all through high school and college I worked hard. Always thinking I wanted a career, but children...uh...not so much. Not yet anyways. I had dreams to achieve, and my 20's were full of ego driven workload. I was a producer and an editor with aspirations to move in front of the camera. I didn't have the confidence yet though to put myself out there. So I worked 60+ hours a week behind the scenes learning everything I could. That's how it is in broadcasting, you have to work harder, better, be more motivated, and stay on top.
But then something funny happened when I turned 30. It was like a proverbial light went on in my head and heart. I wanted to be a mom. And I was ready to try anything in life, like even being in front of the camera. Because I finally cared less about what others thought of me, and more about me. It's amazing what a little confidence can you do for you. I didn't need acceptance from others, because I approved of myself. Or was starting to anyways...
I spent the first few years of this new decade enjoying being a reporter while struggling with infertility. Like really struggling, it took seven long years to get preggers. After I became a mother, I slowly evolved my career into being a part-time reporter, part-time producer, and hands-on mom. After the birth of my second child though, I've become restless. I've been reliving the dreams in my mind that I once had for myself years ago, and trying to figure out how to achieve them. Or if I even want them anymore, especially with kids, whom I hate leaving for more than 6-7 hours at a time.
Somedays I spend hours online looking for that next big TV gig. Should I move to news? Should I look in other markets?