Scarlett Mom joins the Love for 30 Project this week with a blog to her 30-year-old self. The tips that she shares are something all of us can appreciate and learn from. We are also so excited for her because she just published her first book on dating! If you are single, this is something you should definitely check out!
If you are interested in guest posting and joining the Love for 30 Project, I would love to have you and share your story. Email me for all the details.
Today I am guest blogging for My Thirty Spot and her Love For 30 Project. I jumped at this chance to talk to the 30-year-old me and especially thirty-somethings and give them some perspective from a 44-year-old single mom.
Life has turned out pretty well for me: I just published my first book, Evolve or Die Single; I have an amazing 7-year-old son; and I have a wonderful family and great friends. I have zero complaints. But fourteen years after turning the big 3-0, I have learned some valuable life lessons that I am happy to pass on to the sisterhood:
– Your biological clock does not dictate when you should get married. Listen to your heart and your mind.
– Never have a child just because everyone else is or because you feel pressured. Not everyone has to have a baby.
– It’s okay to be a little bit selfish.
– Do not settle just because you’re now 30. If you find yourself saying, “He’ll mature” or “Things will get better once we get married” then RUN.
– Never allow someone to emotionally or physically abuse you. Use those legs and find the door. You’re better and stronger than that.
– “A woman should act like a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom” has two distinct messages and each has equal weighting.
– Never be afraid to ask for what you want out of a relationship. If your partner can’t deliver, end it.
– As men head towards 40 they tend to become more insecure; as women head towards 40 we tend to find ourselves, become independent, and need men less. Use your power kindly and wisely.
– Prince Charming doesn’t actually exist and he certainly won’t come sweep you away and into the sunset to live happily ever after. Get an education, get a career, and be self-sufficient. THEN find someone that you’re truly happy to be with. Even then, remember that relationships always take work.
– If you’re not happy with your career, change it. If you’re miserable now, in 20 years you’ll still be miserable.
– Never marry a man who won’t get off his ass and contribute or be productive in some way.
– Learn to satisfy yourself in bed. If you don’t know how, how can you teach your partner?
– Learn how to be comfortable alone. If you can’t, figure out why.
– Respect your body and make men respect you. Your vagina is not a toy to be passed around for their amusement.
– Read and study Pamela Redmond Satran’s list, 30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30
– What you put in your body significantly effects how you feel and how you look, now and in the future
– It’s now time to find a good dermatologist and start seeing him or her once a year. This person is your gateway to great skin for the rest of your life. Don’t believe you need to start now? Check out my photo. I started at 30 and these are the results.
– It’s also time to stop worshiping the sun and time to start wearing a separate sunscreen under your make-up EVERY DAY. Be sure to apply it to your hands, too; you can always tell a woman’s age by her hands.
– Try to learn something new every year.
– Try to go somewhere new every year.
– Do not over tweeze your eyebrows; eventually they stop growing back.
– Vote with your heart and mind, not with your friends. Stand up for what you believe in.
– Success and beauty come from within. If you rely only on external factors, you will watch everything fade away.
– Every photo you see in magazines is edited with Photoshop; they are beyond reality. Learn to love yourself and who you truly are, not what you think reality is edited to look like.
– People in your life will either fulfill you or suck the life out of you. Purge your life of the latter.
Enjoy your 30s and don’t be afraid of your 40s. They’re pretty amazing, too!!
Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom
I turned 50 this year and I second every point on your list!
One of the best things that ever happened for my skin was taking my children to the dermatologist for their acne. She told me to use my son’s Retin A and she was sooo right.
I also think that the power balance tips towards women as we age. So many marriages fall apart when a women becomes peri- or post-menopausal. We just have a lot less patience for that shit as we grow older.
But, and this is a secret no one ever tells you, the sex gets better. Too many women give up too soon and seem happy when it’s over. Don’t give up. Learn to please yourself and then teach your man how.
Anyway, great post. I’m happily married, but now I want to read your book!
I am 33 and love your blog. This post is a great list, never thought to put sunscreen on my hands!
I’d be elated if you’d visit me at Girlfriends Are Like Shoes
xo
i love this.
Great comments…thank you for the feedback!! BTW…my book has fun tips for married people and those in relationships.
I definitely agree that people give up way too easily.
M