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When Girl Meets 30

The Wisdom of the 30s: Love For 30 Project

November 16, 2015 By Erin Kennedy 4 Comments

If you are interested in guest posting about life in your 30s, what you have learned or how they are better, just email me. [email protected]
 
Love for 30 Project
The Wisdom of the 30s

Each person’s maturity level is different. My mother always used to tell me I was 20 going on 40. And I believed I was in a lot of ways. But at the same time, I became arrogant in my 20s because I thought I was mature enough to handle anything and everything.

I got married when I was 24 years old – young for this generation but it was the right time for me. My husband came out of a nine-year marriage and it wasn’t pretty when it ended.

But because I was convinced I was mature for my age, I stuck to the notion that we are right and the ex-wife was wrong – always. I could not see what she was going through – the hardships of coming out of a long-term marriage, being a single mum, working to support herself, living in a city with very little friends, the heartaches and pains. I could not empathize and was adamant that I was right in thinking she deserved all that pain.

It was pure arrogance.

When it was pointed out to me that I might not have the experience to understand the complexities of ex relationships, I retaliated like a kid in a tantrum. I am mature enough, full stop.

Even in my relationship with hubby when we first started, I was quite arrogant too. I mostly refused to accept my wrongs, or apologize for my mistakes. I had unrealistic expectations of what a marriage or a husband should be like. I wanted him to constantly be in battle with his ex even if it was emotionally taxing.

I was strong, yes, but still arrogant.

Aside from that, I was unmerciful to my body, thinking it will always bounce back. I drank too much. I ate junk food constantly. I partied like there was no tomorrow. Merciless. It caught up with me, of course. All 20kg of it. And I think everyone knows that it’s harder to lose it than to gain it.

I’m in my early 30s now. And after entering this decade of my life, this is what I know:

– I am more sympathetic to my husband’s ex wife to the point where we all have a good relationship (like dinners and trips to the zoo), which makes life much easier and peaceful. Although I still have to admit it to her, I know I was in the wrong with a lot of the things I thought in the past.

– I am more aware of what my body needs and doesn’t need. I am regretting what I’ve done to it for a decade. My body has proven its strength, giving me a wonderful daughter after over 26 hours of labor. My body is commendable.

– I am wiser with what I want to do with my career and therefore happier with the direction I am taking. I am confident with what I can do and have stopped constantly questioning my skills.

– And lastly, I am more understanding of my husband and what a marriage can be. I can safely say we have a delicious marriage. Yes, delicious.

I’m in my early 30s. It can only get better.

Kristyn is the blogger behind MummyK (http://mummyk.com). She is a journalist, photographer, and first time children’s book author. She is enjoying life with her IT consultant/musician husband and three year-old toddler in Sydney, Australia. 
She tweets as @themummyk.

Filed Under: Featured, Love for Thirty Project

Comments

  1. Kristyn says

    December 5, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    Thanks for this opportunity Erin!!

    Reply
  2. Miss Pink says

    December 6, 2011 at 6:00 am

    Wow. I hope that the 30’s bring the ame kind of self understanding and assurance for me that they have you.
    I am constantly told I seem older than what I am. I think that in itself can be a burden because I am still only 25, and yep, sometimes I need to act my age, to go out, and run a muck and blow off steam. There is a pressure to always appear level headed and mature when you’re told that you seem it, and a lot of shock when you are doing nothing wrong but acting your age.

    Reply
  3. Kristyn says

    December 6, 2011 at 8:46 am

    You learn as you grow older but there is no problem “acting your age” as long as you are safe and no one gets hurt :)

    Reply
  4. happylan says

    December 7, 2011 at 1:24 am

    Great post Kristyn. I have just turned 30 and am looking forward to seeing what this decade holds for me. I feel like in the last year even, I have undergone quite an attitude adjustment and am taking responsibility for my own happiness. It’s a great age I think .

    Reply

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Erin Kennedy is the editor of My Thirty Spot, a lifestyle blog for sharing tips and stories for women in their 30s to live the best 30 lives we can. Read More →

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